I Almost Quit
It’s been a minute since I published a blog. Website under reconstruction, not to mention I cannot remember my log in information and a busy crafter season has pushed writing to the back burner. Not intentional, for the words fight hard to make paper, yet I ignore them. But, I think the underlying agent is the fact that I almost, yes almost, decided to throw in the towel. It is weird to even make that statement, for every since I began the journey of YHWH and me, quitting had not even surfaced in conversation. So, to be hit with the idea of giving up was a bit of hump to overcome.
Life for tractor girl has been a roller coaster the past couple of years. An adrenaline packed ride with highs and lows, thrills and chills, but one mostly enjoyed. To tackle each day and see what YHWH has in store has been wondrous to say the least. Walking with preacher through HS has been nothing short of a miracle with some very not so good days, and y days where God’s grace and mercy were beyond words.
HE has been there all the time…never leaving, never forsaking. Upholding HIS word as HE can only do.
It crept upon me. Slithered around in my garden as in the Garden of Eden and tempting and taunting me for too long, before I even recognized what it was. A fighter by nature, it takes much for me to throw in the towel. But the spirit of discouragement had found it’s way into my psyche and was slowly taking the life of Christ out of me.
One of my dear sweet friends of old threw a book at me that we had studied in our women’s class, A Confident Heart, and told me to read it again. She had no idea what she said or what the power of her words would do. So, I began, and the first scripture that I read…
“So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.” Hebrews 10:35,36
My confident trust in God was under attack! Vicious attack. What a great testament to the enemy for me to give up at this stage…in this place where I have learned YHWH in ways I’ve never known.
HE continued to remind me to set my mind and keep it set (Colossians 3:1-4), that HE has equipped me with everything that I need for the journey (Hebrews 13:20,20; Psalm 23:1) and that HE has made my feet like hinds’ feet (Habakkuk 3:19). I cannot quit!
It literally felt as if something over me broke, the dark could dissipated, the spirit of discouragement revealed!
Discouragement's mission is to set you off course...to get you to throw in the towel...to coerce you to give up. But, in-spite of it all, keep walking, keep pushing, keep going forward. For HE has made your feet like hinds feet!